Money, part x.ii of X

So I've been thinking a lot about money. My budget class had it's first "real" meeting this week (last week's meeting was mostly introductory). There's a lot that's been on my heart, but here's one that's really been on my mind: Why is it so hard to be content with less?

Why does my heart gravitate toward the new and expensive so easily? I want a new desk chair. My current one doesn't give me any problems - it just isn't new or shiny or spiffy. If I didn't know that I could buy a nice new chair for $80, I wouldn't consider grumbling about my current chair. But just knowing that there is "better" out there makes me start contemplating the purchase.

Can I really tell the difference between old and new entertainment? I recently invested $40 in a couple copies of Starcraft. Partly to satisfy my conscience about actually owning software I use - and partly so I can teach my significant other a bit about real time strategy games. Yes, the graphics are a bit dated. Yes, Starcraft II will probably be prettier. But you know, I don't sit there during the game going "Ug, this is so ugly." In fact, I mentally imagine a universe which is far more detailed than the actual graphics. It's only when I see the new and better (Starcraft II demos) that I realize how much has changed.

This week's memory verse is "Just as the rich rule over the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender." I've been realizing that while I often hear a lot about helping the poor (which is great), I don't hear people talk about eliminating Visa and Mastercard. Why not? Partly, I think, it's because we don't tend to believe that debt indentures us to service. (And yes, it's possible for us to get trapped even if we're not poor.)

Here's another principle I've been wrestling with: "Do not say 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business, and make money'". So often, credit assumes on the profitability of tomorrow - but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Money, Part x of X?

So I started taking a budgeting class, which may the first of many posts. Two thoughts caught my attention.

First, the study has very case studies of people and their financial situations after they've found themselves in difficulty. It's really tragic to see how financial decisions slowly accumulate until they are a crushing load.

Secondly, the study mentioned the verse

And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?

and I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Mostly I've been thinking about in the context of work and what it means to be trustworthy with asking for equipment, new software, new LCD screens, and the like. The full passage context is here.

Post, Post!

So my friend who complained a couple weeks ago that I don't post weekly seems to have had a very valid point. Unfortunately, I don't have much interesting to say at this point. Or maybe more to the point, little of it seems to blog very well. If people are suitable bored, they are welcome to create their own blog for me with it's own fictional posts.

Anyway, one quick thought: I've been reading through Ezekiel (yes, one of the major prophets that despite being major, nobody seems to know aside from prophetic utterances about Gog and the end of the world). So far, the first thirty chapters have nothing to do with the end of the world (sorry to disappoint people), but it's striking how often God says "I will do X, and then you will know that I am God." X ranges from "wipe you out and destroy you" to "return you to the land and make the nations around you serve you", but the formula of:

God acts in a significant way, and then a group knows that he is truly God.

has me thinking about what it takes for me to evaluate my world view. What would it take for me to become, say, an open theist? Or a Calvinist? Or a Muslim?

Hypothermic Weight Loss Plan

I know I haven't blogged for a while. Partly it's exhaustion; partly it's just that I've been busy with activities that don't blog very well (e.g. met 50 new people).

Anyway, the recent drop in temperature combined with living in a place without free heat for the first time in ten years led me to this brilliant idea: I ought to publish a weight loss planned focused on freezing. If the temperature is lower, my body ought to burn more energy to keep itself warm, right? So there ought to be a point where my body is continuously burning lots of extra energy to keep itself warm, but not too cold so that I suffer from hypothermia and die.

This brilliant plan has great benefits:

• First, it is continuous and automatic. None of the hard work of getting on an exercise bike, going to the gym, or getting outside. Instead, every moment that I am at home, being a lazy couch potato, my diet plan is hard at work.
• I know it's working. None of this "hrm, I wonder if limiting myself to a syrup and lemon diet is working" doubts - the constant shivering is an automatic reminder that your body is burning energy.
• It saves on heating bills.
• Others share your misery, even if they aren't trying to loose weight.
• If you want a roommate or spouse to loose weight, no more nagging them to exercise or diet: Just drop the temperature. If one is mechanically minded, figure out how to rig the thermostat so it won't go above 62 or so.
• It's a great way to make others feel sorry for you: "Yeah, my doctor said I have to be on the hypothermia weight loss plan and I can't have the temperature above 49 degrees - can you believe it?"

I figure the plan is lousy, but I ought to be able to write a 100 page book and make millions anyway. I just need a better name for it.

Llama Economics

So I made a trip to lamafest this weekend. (Yes, lamafest is the correct grammar; llama is a type within the lama genus. And since the festival also included alpacas, it is properly called lamafest.)

I had a good time getting to hang out with the lama farmers and just hearing them talk about their craft. It's a bit stunning, though, to walk around at all the custom craft items which usually cost $30-50, although some larger pieces of art cost much, much more.

Some factoids:

• You can purchase your own pregnant alpaca for $20,000-25,000.
• Shearing a lama (yearly) yields around 10lbs of wool.
  
• Lama have 1 baby, or "cria", per year.
  
• For alpaca, Internet suggests fleece yields $20-40/lb, or $160/lb for yarn

I'm still trying to figure out if it's profitable to get into the lama business. It's a bit troubling to me that the primary value of alpaca is currently breeding them since there is a short supply of them. That is, selling alpaca doesn't seem like a stable business model since unlike, say, food, there's not a need for an on-going supply of alpaca. It also seems very expensive to get into: One needs shelter, land, transport, vaccinations, veterinary visits, time at the shows, etc., etc.

On the plus side, one can get a lama pet for a couple hundred bucks, which seems like a very attractive option for a furry self-propelled lawn-mower. They also don't smell, generate fertilizer, make wool, and hum. I suppose that's not bad for a pet.

There are also miniature lama, I discovered -- I suppose for small lawns and indoor pets.

Hope Deferred

Ah, the circles of life. A few weeks ago, I ended up in a conversation with a friend talking about college dreams and aspirations. We ended up talking about some hopes I'd had in college that haven't really happened. (Or have happened and I haven't recognized them?) It's not necessarily that the hopes won't happen - it's just that they don't seem particularly likely.

I'm left with a few thoughts after the conversation: (Background: I've been thinking about the "Death of a Vision" concept I summarized a year and a half ago.) It's really, really hard for me to hold visions for years. I tend to either want to see them fulfilled Now! (being the patient guy I am) or else deaden my heart to the desire. It's hard to interact with past disappointments in an intelligent proactive way. When I have limited opportunities to make progress toward my dreams, I tend to shy away for fear of additional disappointment. (I'm also tempted to simply demand "Give me! I've earned it.")

Neither approach is how I'd counsel someone else to approach a long term goal, but it's strange how hard it is for me to implement the small steps that I'd give to someone else. It's hard to even seriously pray for them. As Solomon wrote, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."

The struggle with renewed disappointments makes me think about how tenaciously people cling to certain ideas:

• "He loves me" even when everyone else sees how poor the relationship is.
• "She must be the one" when dating for the first time in five years and rapidly approaching the age of 30.
• Convincing older people to go to Jesus after they've been disappointed by church time after time.
• And so on

It's hard to expect others to live what one can't live oneself.

Blank Sheet Creativity

I was walking through Michael's with my girlfriend looking for something (sand timers?) and I a realization:

I'm lousy at blank creativity.

I've always envisioned creativity as a process akin to being locked in a small white room, given a sheet of blank paper, and being told "Invent a new mouse trap."

Other topics that come along those lines:

• How are you feeling?
• Name a date activity for Friday night.
• Create a new board game idea.
• Figure out how to make church more innovative.
• Illustrate a theological principle from real life.
• Find a compelling (to me) blog idea.
• Layout an ideal living room furniture arrangement.

I'm realizing that I'm not very good at any of those activities while sitting at a computer or a piece of paper. Most of my ideas come from borrowing and modifying what I see around me:

• Most of my blog ideas come from being somewhere (outside walking, in a store, talking with a friend), not from being on my computer.
• I mostly come up with illustrations when I have a theological concept in mind and am living out life - something happens, and I think "Oh, that's a good illustration." It's really hard, though, for me to look back through my life for good illustrations.
• Many of my date ideas are borrowed and modified (or occasionally just downright copied) from other people's activities and suggestions.
• Walking around Art Van or Home Depot is one of the best ways for me to get ideas about home decorating. It's not exactly that I want my home to have what is there, but it gets me thinking about what is possible.

(And yes, I'm even much better at the the emotion question when I have a specific context: e.g. How are you feeling about waking up to sunlight?)

I suspect the only weird part of this realization is that I'm just now figuring out what tends to stimulate my creative thinking. But it's still weird to me.

Dog Fighting 101: Fido Bite Fido

So there's been a recent uproar regarding high profile sport celebrities and their alleged participating in sponsoring dog fights.

Generally I believe that good people are kind to their animals, but I'm a bit disturbed at the media circus being generated by the allegations. On the scale of human evil, I'm not sure dog fighting scores very well. Even on the scale of celebrity (or even sports figure) evils, dog fighting?

How about worrying about sports figures who, I don't know, commit violent actions against other people or are convicted felons? Or perhaps the child slave traders or pornography produces could use some well directed outrage? Or women-abusers?

Here's a thought: Dog fighting is bizarrely yet fascinatingly cruel. Outrage is an excuse for interest in something new and different. "Sports figure beats woman" isn't new news: We have plenty of people beating others up. But we're short on celebrities who dog fight - and none of our friends sponsor dog fights - so it's news.

A pastor once commented to me that what really saddened him was the amount of verbal violence he saw in Christian homes: Parents who wouldn't let their children see movies or TV would sit at the dinner table and destroy each other with their words.

I wonder if we're not genuinely concerned with finding great evil and eliminating, or finding evil near us and destroying it. We're certainly not concerned with identifying and ridding ourselves of our own evil. But dog fighting - that certainly should be banned.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary...How does your garden grow?

I'm a bad gardener. Or maybe I'm an alright gardener - I at least water my plants. But I've discovered several very bad mistakes I've made:

First, I don't know what I planted. I bought this bag o' seeds and planted it - but I don't know what any of the plants are supposed to look like.

Secondly, I over-crowded my garden. The seeds were supposed to cover 500 sq ft: My garden is about 100 - and yes, all the seeds are in it.

Third, I let the weeds grow with my plants (and fourth, I don't know what weeds look like either).

So now after a couple months, I have a tangle of a garden. It has some pretty flowers, but the poor plants are nearly hopelessly intertwined. They are disfigured with extra long stalks which allow them to crawl along the ground until they find space to to point their leafy stalks at the sky. And the weeds are everywhere. I'm finally going by the "if it doesn't have flowers, it's a weed" strategy and figuring that even if a few flower plants die, the lack of congestion will do them good.

Here's a few lessons I've learned from my garden:

1. Know what you are planting. Often in life we don't think about what we want to cultivate, so we have no idea whether we're achieving it or not.

2. It's hard to tell weeds and flowers apart by the leaves. It's easier to tell them apart by whether they have flowers. The corollary: In life, it's important to know what is a leaf and what is a flower. Jesus talked about knowing trees by their fruit (not their branches or trunk or leaves); often I can't tell the difference between foliage and flowers.

3. Ignorance is not bliss - it has consequences. My garden could be so much more if I was a better gardener.

4. I should get my digital camera and take photos of my garden.

Have Blog; Need Idea

Somehow I don't seem to have any bright ideas lately for posting. I'm working on it, really I am.

Edit: Or then again, I could go read someone else's challenging yet inspiring post and ponder how to apply it to my life. It's much easier than coming up with my own.

Where Treasure, There Heart

My garden (such as it is) is flourishing. It's even attracting vicious, evil wasp type creatures. (Alright, they might be bees, but I think they are wasps.) It's been an good experience for me.

Someone (here?) was talking about how divorced we are from our need from rain. My own 20 square foot patch of lawn makes me a lot more aware of how dependent the plants are on water - and how I can't bring water - any water - down from the sky. The hose is great, but it's just not like a good rain storm. And I find myself glad to see the rain because I know it means my plants won't be drooping or dying.

I'm finding myself more grateful for the rain - and gaining (I think) a deeper appreciation of the God sending rain on both the good and the evil - how deeply beneficial rain is.

The other change I've noticed is that I'm more aware of my garden: I notice when people step in it, or my wedding table decoration plant died from heat and dehydration, or it doesn't drain right. I take the time to fix it - and it's hard to let it fall apart. I've been thinking about Jesus talking about our heart being where our treasure is: Not that our treasure goes where our heart is, but that our heart is where our treasure is. If I put time, money, and effort into the garden, my heart goes toward the garden. Likewise for politics or computer games.

[The obvious application - putting effort toward God - isn't as simple as I'd like since I show a bad tendency of treasuring religious effort and show rather than God, but that's another post.)

In other news, I survived my tumble down the stairs, and discovered that I slide rather gracefully. Sadly, though, my body isn't impervious to bruising.

Security

So lately I've been thinking about security in life. A couple friends of mine have gotten robbed. Others have unexpectedly lost loved ones.

On the practical side, I've been thinking about writing a will.

On the philosophical side, I've been contemplating what it means to not lay up treasure where moths and rust (not to mention taxes, thieves, and incompetence) can get to it.

What does it mean to use money for good? What does it mean to stand up for justice? I was reading today about companies that work change Google results to hide slander from bloggers. And perhaps for the first time, it struck me: That's a good use of technical skill: Working to protect the reputations of people.

Commitment

I came across this blog post tonight. Very though-provoking.

Seek

I haven't had a lot to post - well, actually, I've had a lot to post, but I just don't seem to be finding good words to write it all down. Life has been pretty good, although many of my friends seem to be in the middle of tough times, so there will probably be opportunities to be helpful there.

I've also been contemplating that I don't tend to be extroverted or high energy. I don't tend to resonate with fire-breathing (Mr. Awesome) or crazy spontaneous camping trips. Or as one of my friends likes to say, I'm boring. And I'm not quite sure what to do with that. I was reading Tipping Point and the author was talking about connectors. These are people who naturally enjoy and maintain light social connections with many, many people - and that doesn't tend to be me.

I not contemplating this in a "Oh, I really need to be reassured that I have other talents" way, but more in a "Huh...I wonder how this plays into my relationship with God?" way. Did Jesus have a personality? Would Jesus' ministry have been different if he had a different personality? Could there have been a still sinless but more introverted Jesus? Or more extroverted?

(On a side note, I've been reading in Isaiah about how many God tells people to seek him and they will find him. So I've been pondering why God seems so hard to find.)

Okay, So I'm Ignorant

I was at a teaching a few months ago where the speaker talked about how Protestants don't know their Bibles nearly as well as they think they did. Specifically, he asked how many Protestants could summarize, say, Haggai. I brushed off the comment at the time. Anyway since then (and partially in response), I've been trying to get more familiar with the prophets.

Meanwhile I asked a friend for a theological book recommendation and he loaned me The Greatness of the Kingdom. He described it as talking about the Kingdom of God in the Bible, and it sounded a little dry - a few bits from the Gospels, a lot from Revelation, and maybe a scattering of other passages. I'd really wanted something that dealt more with the Old Testament, and definitely something more practical and thought-provoking than a discussion of a few passages.

So I wasn't very excited about the book (to be fair, that's mostly Dan's fault since he did a lousy job of describing the book) but I decided it would be rude to completely blow off the suggestion. It turns out the book is a fascinating 500-page in-depth study including significant discussion of the entire Old Testament, including the prophets, and many of the New Testament references to the Old Testament. The also includes sections of "How do we interpret the Bible?" (hermeneutics). It's also an interesting snapshot back in time - the book was written in 1959 - to see how the author applied the Bible to that place and time.

The book has been great - although slow reading - and I won't blog about much more of it. But one point that has really stood out to me is how many points in the New Testament refer back to the Old Testament, especially the prophets, and how badly I don't know the background. One quick example: Jesus' message starts with the announcement that the kingdom of God is coming (here and here). But there's no additional information provided about what kingdom. Why don't the gospel writers provide more information? Well, because they assume the gospel readers know about the kingdom from passages in the Old Testament -- especially the prophets.

So I'm realizing that the the speaker was pretty on target about his comment: There's no way I should be so ignorant of what the prophets said about something that Jesus talked about so frequently.

Honesty and Wit in Politics

I came across this article today. It's mostly a light-hearted essay about weird beach laws. But one of the quotes is from a mayor when asked about a law "prohibiting baby carriages from being parked on sand within 15' of a beach entrance":

"I can't fathom what the thought process was behind that one," said Mayor Adam Schneider, who did not know the law existed until a reporter questioned him on it. "We can do a pretty good job of looking foolish when we enforce `real' ordinances, let alone something like this. I just hope I don't get embarrassed and find out I voted for it in the past."

I like the mayor. He's aware of political reality (looking stupid, weird processes, possibility of embarrassment); he's not too proud - he can admit the law seems bizarre; and he's smart enough to realize he might have voted for it. Politics would be a lot more fun if more people had his wit and honesty.

Cents...

Lately I've been getting a number of interesting offers from businesses. My high school reunion, for example, sent me a form letter - a form letter which required my high school name, mascot, and color. It even implied that we'd had a previous reunion. If I didn't know that my high school class is actually organizing a reunion, I would have pondered if it was a daring scam to steal my credit card info.

Meijer (groceries), meanwhile, is being very clever. They used to run a charity program where they would give a small amount (1-4%) of the amount of one's spending that exceeded $100 per month. I doubt I gave more than $12/year that way. Probably more like $2. But I happily handed over my Meijer every time to let them track my groceries.

Now they want me to re-enroll. They'll donate 0.5% of all my purchases to charity - if I pay with cash, debit card, or Meijer credit card. The debit card was not in the initial offer, but they "modified" their policy based on "customer input". Unfortunately, I also get 0.5% cash back on my credit card, which I could give to charity if I was feeling, well, charitable. Part of me wonders if the whole charity aspect was a ploy to increase Meijer credit cards: Try out the program, get people hooked, then encourage them to continue giving by getting a credit card. On the plus side, I don't really like Meijer easily tracking my purchases, and now I don't have to carry a key-fob around to identify myself. I just have to remember to drop a quarter in the jar from today's purchases.

In other news, I'm practicing my home-improvement methodology. I found a small draft in the basement of my new place, so I'm trying the "plastic sheet + duct tape" approach.

Come Now, Let Us Fight

I've had the pleasure over the last few weeks to be challenged in my beliefs in various ways, most of them through interactions that I've been having with others. One of the more thought-provoking questions was "Why do so many Christians take the words of Paul more seriously than the words of Jesus?" (The comment wasn't meant antagonistically, however the print may sound.) It's actually a good question, but not one I'm caring to blog about today.

Instead I'm thinking about something I read in a history of the church book (Church History in Plain Language). The author comments that during the Protestant reformation, Catholics and Protestant sects often militantly fought each other because they saw beliefs not so merely as individual, but as communal, and if one believed falsely, one led the entire community astray. While I'm glad that theologically debates aren't fought to the death and religious beliefs aren't forced upon me, I've been thinking about that passion for others and for seeing other's walk a good path.

My impression is that in American, many of us view spiritual beliefs as private. And even if they aren't private, we often speak in code words or cliches - "God wants us to come to him in faith." The sayings may be true, but they conceal that people view the sayings very differently. Who do I mean by God? Faith? What does it mean to come to God in faith? Is that an active or passive? How do I learn about what it means to come to God in faith? And does everyone agree with the answers I'd give? My guess is no, not at all.

So why aren't we more passionate about sharing our knowledge, our beliefs, our understanding with others? After all, it's what sustains us in tough times, right? It's the source of our hope and joy when times are dark. Isn't it that which gives us meaning when the world is turned upside down? Well...maybe not. Here's three reasons I've been contemplating why we aren't more verbal with our faith.

1. Frequently, we don't have the character for prolonged disagreement about important issues. How we fight or debate reveals our character deficiencies. Paul tells Timothy "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth..." My first thought in debate is usually "Wow, it's really important that this person see truth." And then when I'm done, I often realize that by about the third sentence out of my mouth, I'd totally forgotten about them and focused on winning. (Never mind that they actually might be right...)

2. Sometimes, our beliefs aren't as important as we claim they are. We don't really see our faith as being our hope in a confused and messed up world. It's more like dessert. Nice, but not really essential. Sometimes, as part of this, we aren't really sure what we believe...and it's not a priority for us to figure out.

3. All too often, we don't deeply care about other's spirituality. Alright, I'm making assumptions. Let me rephrase: Often I don't care - at all. And from observation, I'm guessing others are like me. We're glad we have hope in a crazy world, and if our neighbor came and begged for us to share our beliefs, we'd obliged him. But we aren't desperate for others to have our hope. We don't look at people and think "Oh God, please send more workers to help these people. Please, change me, use me, let me communicate you to them. If it means a Mohawk, tattoos, a different career, embarrassment, shame, the loss of friendships - please God, let me reach others with the hope that I have."

And yes, I think there's other reasons too. There's issues of calling, uncertainty, growth, humility, timing, wisdom, and so on. It's possible this is more me projecting myself onto others than the actual state of affairs. Comments?

Slippers and Wishing

I'm back. Or, more accurately, I'm moved. While I'm at it, I've lost another roommate to marriage. I think that means that over the last five years, I've lost every roommate to marriage. Of course, that's only 2 roommates, but five years sounds more impressive.

I'm not quite settled in yet - it's hard to find spots for all the junk I never use but desperately want to keep. But I'm trying to do better at actually using it and not replacing it rather than simply hoarding it.

And for the first time ever, I'm contemplating the joys of slippers. I've never really thought of myself as a slipper person, but I like to sleep barefoot, and the way the heating in my new place works, it tends to be a bit chilly when I wake up. Slippers seem to be an excellent solution. It's weird - slippers have always seemed a bit pointless to me, so it's weird to find myself contemplating them. I guess that's my weekly dose of walking in other people's shoes.

Protestant Priests

I read an fascinating book (maybe Biblical Eldership by Alexander StrauchZ) which commented that Protestants often function as though their pastors are Protestant priests.

It's both an interesting and thought-provoking comment. As I understand Catholicism, the priests are different than the members: Only the priests are able to perform the sacraments - marriage, Eucharist, last rites, baptism, etc. In some rituals, there's the idea of the priest acting as the person of Christ.

In the Old Testament, the priests were the mediators between the people and God. If one had sins to atone for, one brought an appropriate sacrifice to the priests - which was how the priests were fed. Since priests were God's mediators for Israel, they had special rules for being holy.

I'm not entirely sure what the book meant about Protestant priests (I need to find the comment and re-read the section), but here's some things I've been thinking about:

- Do I believe there is certain ceremonies (Lord's supper, baptism or marriage) that only pastors should perform? If so, why?

- Do I believe pastors are more holy than other church members?

- What ministry do I believe only pastors should perform? Why?

- What do I actually think is different about someone once they've been appointed a pastor?

Confession: Marriage is actually the one that tripped me up here. I'm used to something like "By the authority committed to me as a minister of the Church of Jesus Christ, I declare that ________ and ________ are now husband and wife" or " I, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the state and the church, declare you to be husband and wife". (Here's a whole list of wedding pronouncements.")

I tend to think of "minister" and "pastor" an interchangeable, although I'd accept that those needn't be identical words. A quick Google search for "define: minister" suggests my first impression is reasonable. So what exactly is the authority committed to a pastor to declare a couple man and wife? Is it merely the state law requiring a pastor* for marriage? (* - Yes, the actual legalize is a bit more complicated. Judges can marry, some churches offer anyone a "minister" status, and there's actually a difference between the state requirements for officiant and pastoring - I've known churches that have been willing to let non-pastors receive "minister" status so that they can perform marriages. Nuance aside, pastors are the primary officiants at the weddings I know of.)

If the authority is merely state law, what do statements like "...and by the church" mean? Does the pastor have a special authority from the church regarding marriages? Or can I claim that authority? If this authority is special to pastors, where do they derive it from? And how is this different from having a special "holy" class of people - priests?