This is really scary (for those of you who didn't catch the first round of coverage). It really frustrates me to see God misrepresented. The real tragedy is that it probably makes Christians look pretty stupid. I wonder if many people really buy the his outlook on God.
Here's a few thoughts, though, if I ever get to be a nationally quoted speaker for Jesus:
- If I'm going to predict disaster upon a city, I will have a high tech doomsday device (e.g. Deathstar) under my command with which to inflict said disaster.
- Prior to making random announcements about my deity's unwillingness to forgive or assist the rebellious, I will consult appropriate religious texts for contradictory stories. Such stories will be disowned prior to my announcements.
- I will pay special attention to stories about prior prophets named Jonah who run in the opposite direction because he so wanted disaster to be visited upon a city that he avoided going to it so that the inhabitants could not hear of their danger, repent, and have God show compassion.
- If said stories exist and I wish to see wrath, I will keep my mouth shut and laugh afterward. (I will first investigate whether my deity says anything about gloating in my enemy's misfortune.)
- If said stories exist and I wish to see mercy, I shall appear to provide the warnings of impending doom with much sorrow and contrition, all the better to earn the hearing of my audience.
- I shall consider the possibility that my deity is fickle and often does not express his wrath despite egregious provocation. If I do not know what my deity is going to do, I will not make vague pronouncements such as "My deity may or may not express his wrath somewhere in the world in some form involving suffering."
- I shall bear in mind that my deity may take badly to certain forms of misrepresentation. I will investigate what my deity cares about prior to seeking national fame. Should I achieve national fame prior to completing my inquiry, I shall sprinkle my comments liberally with phrases such as "In my understanding..."
- My advisors shall include an atheist, several arrogant teenagers, and a Wolverine. Any prepared comments that cause any of my advisors to dissolve into uncontrollable fits of laughter shall be rewritten.
- All comments shall be prepared.
(For the bored, this is funny.)
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3 comments:
First, I think the Geneva Conventions specifically prohibit you from owning a DeathStar. Sorry, but just think... the taxes on something like that have got to be pretty bad.
Second, could you clarify whether the Wolverine advising you is a) Logan b) a nondescript although somewhat dangerous animal c) a UMich student or d) something different...
I'm just thinking that some of those choices wouldn't make fabulous advisors no matter whether you were trying to inflict doom/panic/chaos or not...
Part of the role of advisors is to tell one how one will come across. Christians seem especially prone to getting in their own cultural huddle and being very out of touch with the rest of the world. If one's target audience is the rest of the world, non-Christians are an excellent source of feedback on how one is communicating. Not on the what (the message), but on the how such as tone.
I think Yi was right. While most people find it hard to be serious all the time, you seem to have no difficulty with it. :)
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