He who walks with the wise...

Some of my days have themes. Today's theme has been "Who am I listening too?" I stumbled across this blog entry talking about intelligence and foolishness not in terms of intellectual capacity, but in terms of one's relationship with God. Then I came across this blog discussing Fundamentalism vs. Liberalism. The entry is fascinating in many ways, but many of the points relate back to knowing God's heart rather than following human constructions. And then I came across this quote by A.W. Tozer (who was quoting someone else):

Let no one listen to a man unless he listens to God.

There's an interesting feedback loop here. People who know God better than me differ from me (hopefully) in their view of God. As I learn from them, my view of God improves, and I'm better at recognizing people who know God well. I've been reflecting today on some of the different types of people I've known. People don't tend to fit well in a single category, but here's some generalizations...

The charlatans: Sometimes known as hypocrites, everyone loves to hate these people. They portray themselves as deeply spiritual and their surface lives have the appearance of godliness, but over time, one realizes that there are deep sins that are being denied and suppressed. This group scares me as it takes time and often much discernment to tell whether people fall in this category.

The different mature: These are people whose view of God is very, very different from mine. Regretfully, it has generally taken me a long time to recognize the beauty and depth of their faith. But over time, these people have perhaps the most significant impact on me as they broaden and deepen my understanding of God.

The older me: These are people who are very similar to me, naturally and capably speaking into my life. Because we're similar, they tend to see through me, and are able to speak truth much more directly into my life than others.

Faith survivors: These are people who have been through hell on Earth at least once, and sometimes repeatedly. And yet through it all, they pursue God: Not necessarily without struggle - often great struggle. Often they are people who I originally meet and think "Wow, they are really young in their faith" until I hear where they have come from and realize how present God is in their lives for them to be loving people and coping with reality the way they are.

The Younger Visionaries: These are the idealists who see the magnitude of God and haven't been worn down by life's hard knocks. They often lack an understanding of God's work through pain, but they deeply and contagiously believe in what God can do with them and through them.

Most of the above are people that I listen to. Even the charlatans I tend to take seriously - first, because I think they often have good points even if they are not living them, and secondly, because I often mistake them for (the older me, the different mature) before I decide I must be much more cautious in how I take their advice.

And then there are a whole host of categories of people I take much less seriously, people who I love and care about, but who fundamentally I don't trust as listening to God. I still try and hear them out because God can speak through them despite themselves, and because sometimes they know God better than I realize.

But sometimes I think about the number of times I've re-evaluated how I categorize people, the countless times my estimations have been wrong, that I've regretted not listening to someone, or wondered why on earth I took someone so seriously...and sometimes I just throw my hands up and wonder how on earth I'm supposed to hear from God through people when it is so hard to know people's hearts and intents.

I was talking to an old not-quite-dead white guy friend of mine this week. Somehow or another the topic turned to violence and parenting, and he made a fascinating comment...paraphrased:

Conservatives [e.g. Christians] are often deeply concerned about physical violence in movies, video games, and the like. But rarely are they concerned about the verbal violence that envelopes their lives, their homes, or their dinner tables.

It is a challenging question: How do I verbally treat those I disagree with? Those who talk badly about me at work? Those who make foolish decisions?

Do I believe that people are more than the sum of their decisions? Or do I award respect based entirely on what people do?

Perspective

Earth: A strange planet dominated by metallic creatures. Primarily based on iron composites, these creatures can be divided into distinct classifications. All of these life forms share the ability to multiplex light frequencies in complicated patters, apparently as a form of communication.

The sea-variant are a individualistic bunch, slowly traversing the planet's bodies of water and rarely visiting each other except in large congregations with the land-variants.

The land-variants are a diverse bunch, but can primarily be divided into the long distance ones which roam continents, seemingly at random, but generally stopping at large metal structures (which other creatures routinely create). The exact purpose of these structures is unclear, but they may be a exchange point for the short distance creatures.

The short distance creatures travel very predictable routes, spending most of their day at one location, their evenings at another, with a few regularly visits at other locations - usually the exchange points mentioned above.

The land creatures are prolific in building structures for themselves, although they rarely enter the structures, preferring to linger outside. A few of the creatures even launch themselves into space, although few ever return to land. It should also be noted that there are flying variants of the creatures as well. Little more is known about these creatures, although they seem to be infected with a small carbon based lifeform. Little is known about the interaction between these lifeforms, although our scientists speculate about a possible symbiotic relationship.

I sometimes wonder if aliens would write reports about earth like this one. Would they recognize humans as the intelligence behind machines? Or would they mistake vehicles (cars, trucks, boats, airplanes) as intelligent creatures in their own right? And how would we, as humans, break that notion?

Funny how sometimes the wrong perspective can make so much sense.

Of Speakers and Microphones

I received one particularly thought provoking reply to my last post on disqualification . Ok, I received several, but one I've been particularly thinking about. Here's an excerpt.

...the issue I would raise is that of disqualification. Thinking on the ministry of Jesus, I can pick out numerous examples of forgiveness, both related to general sins and even sexual sins...Sin doesn't disqualify you, otherwise no one would ever be saved, that is why Jesus came in the first place.

In contemplating the comment, I realized that I didn't talk much about the relational verses role issues that disqualification raises.

Here's what I mean by that:
The relational aspect has to do with my relationship with God. How am I connected to him? Not at all? Enemy? As a slave? Servant? Child? The role aspect has to do with our authority to speak and minister on God's behalf, especially publicly.

I think our relational aspect is fairly fixed as either a Christian or non-Christian. Occasionally non-Christians become Christians, and certainly we draw closer or further from God. But the foundation on which we connect with God is generally constant, regardless of sin.

In contrast, a higher bar is required to be "bigwig" representative of God. God has higher lifestyle expectations from those who lead and teach his people. Teachers are judged more strictly by God; they bear a responsibility not just for their own lives, but for the manner in which they influence others.

Here's a few thoughts on the qualifications regarding pastors...although I would argue they should apply to the leaders overseeing any significant public ministry (e.g. parachurch operation).

He must manage his own family well

How does a man treat his wife and children? Not in just in public, but in the privacy of his home?

above reproach

A catch-all category that could probably allow lengthy discussion about what is above reproach. I would certainly include 'does not break marriage vows', 'does not abuse children', and 'does not embezzle money' on the list.

He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace...

I think it interesting that Christian leaders are expected to have a good reputation in the eyes of others (including non-Christians). They may not be liked, but the majority of people who know the leader will acknowledge respect or a grudging admiration for him despite their disdain.

I don't think America very consistently holds it's pastorate to these standards...I wonder what would happen if we did. I'm wondering how I'd handle the issue in my church if the need arose...

Only If They Aren't After You...

...is it paranoia.

A friend recently posted this audio clip regarding the perils of sexual (or other serious) sin as a Christian leader. (See this audio clip for context.)

For those of you who skip over the audio message, the context is a pastor I respect talking about his fear of being disqualified as a pastor. The main clip is the story of a pastor ("Frank") who resigned due to an affair he had. It some of his reflections on what happened.

I have a real mixed reaction to the clip. On the one hand, I share Noel's fear of disqualification: To watch one's life dreams be destroyed is a frightening, frightening thought. I can't imagine the shame and misery of going through what Frank went through.

On the other hand, I don't know how to take the concluding warning seriously without becoming paranoid. (The warning was about dealing with anything in one's private life that could destroy one.) I find the theme of "I was responsible, yet I wasn't aware of underlying issues (e.g. bipolar disorder, love addiction)" a scary phrasing. Not that I disagree with the sentiment, but the thought of numerous submerged torpedoes just waiting to sink my life isn't encouraging. Nor is the idea of not one big mistake, but a hundred little ones. A hundred little mistakes that might cumulatively wreck my life? I make that many mistakes in a day.

Major lifelong struggles that could destroy me? Check, got several of those. Mental disorders? Yep, all set there. Difficulty handling stress well? Wait, that wasn't a mental disorder? Secret addictions unknown to me? Who knows? A less than ideal accountability and support system? Check.

Two thoughts here cross my mind:

What does it mean to have a healthy awareness of sin's allure but not be paralyzed by fear or paranoid?

For example, my less than perfect accountability / support system. I've numerous sermons about the importance of fellowship, encouragement, and sharing; all very good teachings. They end with this little line about "going out and finding some like-minded guys."

And then the snags start coming. In the sermon, one can freely outline the ideal. In real life, implementation is a big sticky mess. Meeting people. Schedule conflicts. Personality clashes. Lack of interest. Life busyness. And then there are so many topics to talk about: Sexual purity, treatment of significant other, financial habits, integrity, interacting with parents, devotional habits, etc., etc. Inevitably, the system could be better. And in so far as I can easily make it better, I should do so. But the perfectionist in me tends to think that if any improvement can be made, I should go to heroic efforts to make it happen. The lazy part of me says "Meh, what I have is good enough. Why rock the boat?" And I want to know what is between paranoia and laziness.

What does it mean that God won't let me be tempted beyond what I can bear?

I don't have as many thoughts on this, other than the question. How do sub-conscious habits interact with God's shepherding of us? If they are so destructive, won't God make me aware of them? And can't he make me aware of them without having my entire life destroyed?

(And yes, I know I have not blogged in forever. I've been short on inspiration, which is probably due to stress, which interferes with the creative juices.)

Abysses & Maxim

I was recently told that my blog entries have been getting long, so I'm going to reduce that today by using diminutive words and other people's words. Specifically, several of my friends have brought up the ladder theory recently. (It is well worth reading, especially for the abyss.) For balance - or at least additional cannon fodder - there is also the Southern Belle and this reposted excerpt from Maxim. Isn't that the shortest 5,000 words you ever read?

<tangent>Regarding the Southern Belle, it reminds me of a story a young - mid-30s, didn't know not to actually be real with people yet - pastor told me about his wife. She was rather...well, outspoken, and often struggled to reconcile her personality with the more stereotypical conservative Christian woman. Ironically, her outspoken personality deeply attracted the pastor to her. I don't know why that story has stuck with me, but it often reminds me that God looks at the heart, and that wisdoms leads to caution in associating certain behaviors with a certain heart.</tangent>

I'm ambivalent as to whether I actually think the ladder theory is true. Aside from some fascinating psychological-sociological implications, I'm not sure it matters. I do think it is often functionally and operationally true. I do think it and the Maxim post highlight what Christian character implies.

My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a beautiful woman comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a homely woman in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the woman wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the other, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

Ah favoritism. I think most guys (all but the most incompetent or evil) are usually graciously friendly toward objects of affection. The smarter guys are also friendly toward objects' friends too. But fundamentally it is a self-serving kindness: I am kind in order to convince her that I am cool so that she will like me. Often, there is not a genuine brotherly concern about the wellbeing (spiritual or otherwise) of sisters who are "just friends".

For the record, I don't see lack of favoritism implying a guy's female friendships will look identical - or even similar. The connection depth depends on a many factors, including personality and baggage. Friendships have lives of their own. But I do think lacking favoritism means a genuine concern for sisters' spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Closely related favoritism is the question interests: Whose interests is "Frank" most looking out for when he pursues a woman? Hers, or his? Does his love mean he really wants to know whether or not she would be better off without him? (Either single or with someone else?) If Frank knew, would he honor God's will and desist in trying to make the relationship happen? Can he be genuinely supportive of her pursuing another guy?

(And no, I don't think an others-interest implies a lack of care or concern about Frank's own interests. Frank expecting to benefit from a relationship is not bad - relationships are intended to be a joy.)<tangent>Frank, I recently discovered, is the name of a friend's car. Any implied character slur against Frank is deeply regretted.</tangent>