Anyway, the recent drop in temperature combined with living in a place without free heat for the first time in ten years led me to this brilliant idea: I ought to publish a weight loss planned focused on freezing. If the temperature is lower, my body ought to burn more energy to keep itself warm, right? So there ought to be a point where my body is continuously burning lots of extra energy to keep itself warm, but not too cold so that I suffer from hypothermia and die.
This brilliant plan has great benefits:
- First, it is continuous and automatic. None of the hard work of getting on an exercise bike, going to the gym, or getting outside. Instead, every moment that I am at home, being a lazy couch potato, my diet plan is hard at work.
- I know it's working. None of this "hrm, I wonder if limiting myself to a syrup and lemon diet is working" doubts - the constant shivering is an automatic reminder that your body is burning energy.
- It saves on heating bills.
- Others share your misery, even if they aren't trying to loose weight.
- If you want a roommate or spouse to loose weight, no more nagging them to exercise or diet: Just drop the temperature. If one is mechanically minded, figure out how to rig the thermostat so it won't go above 62 or so.
- It's a great way to make others feel sorry for you: "Yeah, my doctor said I have to be on the hypothermia weight loss plan and I can't have the temperature above 49 degrees - can you believe it?"
4 comments:
This is probably the best thing I've read all day. =)
What about calling it the Sub-Zero Slim Plan or On Thin Ice?
I believe that dancing is a much better way of both staying warm and losing weight. You should try it sometime, especially since you keep saying you will...
Darn, that means I shit outta luck down here in all this tropical heat....
Hey; thought I ought to catch up on the blog. :-)
You could also (or instead) incorporate eating cold foods as a means of weight loss. It's a known fact that when something cold (i.e. food/drink/ice) contacts something warm (i.e. body), the warm thing transfers heat energy to the cold thing to bring the two things to the same temperature. Since the body doesn't really want to make itself cool down to the temperature of food, and since the body can make more heat by burning calories/fat...the body will keep on making heat (a.k.a. converting calories & fat) until the cold thing is the same temperature. So...with the frozen diet, you can eat whatever you want as long as it's frozen. (At least in theory.) Mmm...I just love frozen doughnuts...and frozen pizza...and frozen mac 'n cheese...and frozen clam chowder...and frozen steak...and frozen mashed potatoes.
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