On my trip over Christmas, I got to talking with a few different people on the plane. And I reached a conclusion: Old people are hard to talk to because they've experienced so much tragedy. During my trip, conversations included breast cancer, unwanted moving trips, son dying from epilepsy, and family separations...in about 4 hours of conversation. I suppose it highlights that much of life happens to us - and we're simply forced to make choices that deal with the tragedy. And for most of us, tragedy will be part of our lives. I just don't like how conversation with older strangers so easily crosses into pain that they may or may not want to talk about. Mostly I don't like it because I don't know how to respond.
Also, a significant amount of tragedy in people's lives seems to be brought about by their own mistakes. And there is less hope to offer as one gets older: Life is shorter, there are fewer big choices to make. And asking near strangers about their mistakes seems, well, in poor taste.
I suppose this problem will naturally solve itself as I age, but I'd like a faster solution.
2 comments:
I often find old people nice to talk to because they have so many interesting stories. I enjoy breakfasts with the old ladies in my bell group when they talk about touring the country and world with their girl band (brass instruments here, not leather pants and electric guitars). And at least an equal number of tragedies aren't anything that could be changed by people. Less hope as you get older? You seem to be in a very pessimistic mood for some reason. Why would hope be a diminshing substance?
I can understand why that would be depressing.
At the same time, as someone who has experienced a good deal of tragedy for my age ... I think of the human tendency to blame ourselves for things that we really couldn't have controlled, couldn't have done any other way. I blame myself for things that happened when I was young that I could never have overcome no matter what I did; I guess I would wonder how much of what these people suffered, how much of what they saw as their mistakes, fell into this category.
I also end up wanting to make all of those people watch Signs. :) The end of that movie is a good picture of how I foresee my life ending someday.
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