Cage Rattling

I recently read Christianity Today's excerpt of a new book on dating. I think the title was something about undating. Anyway, I figured it was as good an excuse as any to post my favorite book on courtship/dating. (That's not necessarily high praise, as I'm not a big fan of many of the books.) Besides, people aren't leaving many comments, so I figured I needed a more controversial topic.

The author of Dating With Integrity went to Michigan State, so he can't be all bad. This book is actually one that taught me very little about dating. I'm actually not sure what I think of the author's approach to dating. However, I took away a lot about friendship from this book. John talks extensively about the idea of Christians as family, and what it means to have healthy family relationships.

Holzmann also does a nice study of many scriptural passages regarding topics such as physical contact, sex, favoritism, honor, and integrity. He presents a very straightforward application of the passages. One may not agree with his conclusions (and I think his logic could be tighter), but the book is very good for challenging me about whether my conclusions are derived from scripture and sound principles of understanding what God meant, or whether I'm letting my own wishful thinking be the primary interpreter.

My biggest complaint with the book is that he does not develop model of how people get married very well, and so while I walk away with an excellent idea of what solid healthy non-romantic friendships are intended to be, the romantic-marrying process is a bit muddy.

And yes, I've noted the irony that my favorite dating book deals very little with dating and more with friendship.