Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Scream! and Other Scary Realities

So I've been thinking about my fears about how life and how they indicate my small view of God. In general, I think the formula to my fears is something like:

If X happens, then I will feel Y, and I don't believe God is big enough to offer Z.

For example, if I get into a car crash, then I will feel ashamed because I'm incompetent, and I don't believe God is big enough to offer comfort.

Or if I say something insultingly stupid to my boss, then I will feel nervous about the consequences, and I don't believe God is big and kind enough to provide for me anyway.

Or if God's nature is that he is sometimes harsh, then I'm scared about him ruling because I don't think he's big enough for me to love him if he's different than I imagine him.

Strange how I'm often more eager to know my image of God than the real one. Then again, I guess idolatry is a pretty old human sin.

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