Gone to Meddling

Lately I've been thinking about the issues of honesty, respect, and tact. I'm especially thinking about it because I'm discovering lately that I have a lot of views that rub people the wrong way. (I know that is shocking to many of you.) I've scratched or delayed half a dozen blog topics because I haven't figured out a way to write which both honestly presents my thoughts and yet gives respectful space to those with other views.

My problem is that often honesty seems to be taken as implicitly disrespectful and tactless. Why? Because we want people to be who they aren't. I want people to care about my problems when they don't. I want people to like my choices when they don't. I want people to spend time with me when they don't.

Conversations might go like this:

Acquaintance: So why didn't you come bowling last night?
Tactful Me: I didn't feel in the mood to go bowling.
Honest Me: Because Stan went. I despise Stan and can't stand being around him.

Friend: So why did you decide to help out with your church's "Help the elderly" ministry?
Tactful Me: I felt like this was a great opportunity to serve God and just really felt than he laid this opportunity on my heart.
Honest Me: Well, there's this hot girl who said she was going to get involved and I wanted to impress her.

A friend (Charles) recently commented that he found tattoos repulses. Another friend (Stan) promptly commented that Charles was being ridiculous. A part of me agrees with Stan. I don't get Charles. I don't get why he's disgusted by tattoos. But that doesn't give me the right to trivialize or invalidate his feelings or reaction.

How does Charles honestly expression his repulsion to a tattoo artist?

After Charles mentions his repulsion, how do I answer his question "So what do you do?" when I, in fact, am a tattoo artist.

What makes a feeling or reaction silly or ridiculous?

P.S. I'm feeling bad for having demonized Stan and Charles so much. I need a new set of names for abusing when I want to write an example in. Please suggest some good ones.