Mike: I appreciate your encouragement that I should joke more. However, you should be fully aware that Vulcans do not joke. In other news, I've decided that I need a robot to make my lunch.
On a more serious note, I've decided that I'm a (lazy) minimalist, which conflicts very badly with my goal of eating lunch everyday. I'm trying to minimize (a) amount of money spent per meal, (b) amount of time fixing meal, and (c) boredom with the meal. I've finally gotten tired of sandwiches and bananas, and need to find something viable to take to work with me. Foods that won't destroy my clothing also seem like a plus. A robot seems like an ideal solution: Initially expensive, but cheap to maintain, doesn't get grumpy at being ignored, can learn new tricks, and impresses visitors.
I also have a communication axiom for those who care: Given that you are capable of communicating in two languages with a person who speaks only one, your documentation should be full and complete *in the language of the user*, not in your native language. It's amazingly frustrating to try and read complex technical documentation which has been poorly translated into English and trying to reverse engineer the operational functionality of the equipment.
The experience gives me a whole new sympathy to people who don't speak "Christianese". It's inevitable, I suppose, that groups develop lingo for frequently used concepts. But it's incredibly humiliating to be trying to read between the technical lines for what might have been meant. And I consider myself fairly technically savvy. (Foolishly, perhaps. <-- another joke for Mike.) But I can't see a journalist picking this documentation up and understanding it. And yet one job of an ambassador is to translate. I wonder whether I cheerfully and patiently translate my lingo for others.
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5 comments:
Want to be a minimalist, eh?
Tired of all the ta-doo of making meals?
Wanna save wear and tear on your clothes?
Don't waste your hard earned money on a robot that is going to eventually need costly repairs-
Just take "Speed"!!!
This great little product only takes 30 seconds to prepare and eat!!
It is full of all the necessary ingredients to give you all the energy you will need until dinner!! Then, just eat some more "Speed" and you'll be ready for a long night of productivity!!!
When morning comes and it's time for work, well, you guessed it!!! "Speed"!!!
"Speed" will get you going and charge you up for a long day on the job!! Your boss will be amazed with the pace you get your, and your co-workers, work done before lunch!! But, don't tell him your secret- he will probably fire you and get "Speed" for himself so he can get all the work done and pocket all the extra money that used to be your paycheck!!
Besides, after a couple of months on a strict diet of "Speed", you'll look gaunt and ill- your attitude will go down the crapper and you'll probably have a nervous breakdown!! But, just think of all the time and money you've saved by minimalizing with "Speed"! It should be an ample amount to get you through rehab with enough left over to buy your next 1000 lot of "Speed"!!!
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NOW,THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!
I need a robot to make my lunch too. In fact, I need multiple robots to do everything for me. Oh, I also want a hydrogen-powered flying car and a "head computer" that connects directly to my nervous system.
Better yet, lets just replace most of the human race with robots and cyborgs. People are just not as cost-effective and thus obsolete.
On a less serious note, perhaps it would be best to start off with smaller changes to lessen your lunch time fustrations (since a robot purchase is not currently a viable option).
For example, instead of just a boring banana everyday, rotate it out for other (no prep-work) fruits like apples, grapes, peaches, pears, plums, ect. A different one for each day of the week.
I'm sure with enough strategist planning, you can come up with an optimal weekly meal schedule that best fulfills your 3 objectives.
Allen,
Kudos - I laughed. I laughed a lot actually. Perhaps its because I am indeed a geek, and can appreciate not understanding someone elses techno babble.
Or possibly it is because I could use a robot myself. I thought that somehow in getting married, I would suddenly have a higher quality lunch to look forward to...mostly because those of the feminine gender seem to lack the same appreciation for "frozen foods" which are generally found inside the steriotypical bachelor's abode (such as mine was). BUT no, instead I still stand in front of my fridge scratching my head hating my lunch life.
I like your title too. "Of Jokes and Men,"
...tell me how its gonna be George...
I've encountered a similar problem in Germany, except I'm trying to communicate rather than decipher. Trying to share truth about God in a foreign language when ALL the words are new is an interesting excercise in trimming the fat off of my beliefs.
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